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An open letter to duck shooters: Get a new hobby.

An open letter to duck shooters: Get a new hobby.

Posted 16 January 2015   by Amy         Permalink | 4 Comments

Tags: duck shooting, hunting, ducks, bowling

Dear duck shooter,

Today I heard that the 2015 duck shooting season has been declared. I'm writing to you because I'm just a bit concerned about your choice of hobby. It seems really ... hard. I mean for one ... don't take this the wrong way, but surely you must've noticed that no one really likes you :/

People like ducks alive! They just don't get why you want to shoot them. (Why do you want to shoot them?)

Anyway, I was wondering whether you'd ever thought about taking up a different hobby instead of duck shooting? Like what about bowling? Everyone likes bowling. Which pretty much sums up my first point.

Why it's time to stop killing ducks and get some balls. Bowling balls.

1. You don't make friends with dead ducks.

No. No you don't.

You do however make friends with big shiny balls. The proof is in this genuinely candid and not-at-all staged photograph of bowling friends.

bowling-friends.jpgThis could be you.

2. Bowling season never ends!

Duck shooting season is what, 3 or 4 months of the year? Maaaate ... bowling season is all year round!

520-bowling-man.jpgThis champion knows it.

3. No early starts.

morning.jpg

Not only is bowling all year round it's ALL DAY LONG too! Some bowling alleys are even open late into the night. So forget the early morning wake ups to go out and cruelly and needlessly shoot ducks out of the sky. Sleep in, (don't be a douche) and spend your leisure time smashing pins instead.

4. Balls are provided.

Great news for anyone who doesn't have any balls of their own. (i.e. anyone who shoots a defenceless bird out of the sky for fun.)

balls.gif

5. No one gets hurt.

No one gets hurt at bowling. Well, unless they're super bad at it. But even then at least they're willing participants. Unlike ducks. What kind of 'sport' forces participants to 'play' against their will? And by 'play,' I mean get shot dead, or wounded until they bleed to death. Seriously, duck shooting is done. It's no good. Move on. It's time for a new, non-cruel, hobby.

Click here to leave duck shooting behind and join the other 99% of us who don't shoot ducks.

join-us.jpg

(If you're already a non duck shooter and you reckon it's rubbish that people are still allowed to shoot ducks, there's something you can do about it right now. Click here.)

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Comments
Okami ovo vegetarian Okami ovo vegetarian 17 January 2015
1
BAN DUCK SHOOTING!!! nobanana chick ashamed ashamed2 angry angry angry cry confused huh lookatme megaphone scared sad
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reddapanda reddapanda 18 January 2015
2
So great.

And the "Big guns..." banner ad!
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judy4 judy4 28 January 2015
3
BAN DUCK HUNTING.  All hunting for that matter . Not very sporting when the ducks don't carry guns.
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Purple Princess Purple Princess 30 January 2015
4
ban duck shooting for good  banana broccoli dance strong ecstatic
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We’re supposed to let you know that the ideas expressed here are the views of the individual authors, and may not necessarily reflect the views of Animals Australia or Animals Australia Unleashed. So now you know.

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