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Defending your choices

Doesn't it get tiring?

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LittleGlider LittleGlider SA Posts: 24
1 24 Nov 2011
I have recently found myself in a position with a potential new partner (meat-eater) where I am having to constantly defend my views and beliefs. sad I do not force my choices on anyone else, they are my own. I may occassionally provide information in order that another person might make their own choice, but not unsolicited.

It dawned on me that meat-eaters are never routinely asked to defend their dietary choices. And that irks me!

I realise that re-education is a slow process for some (and for others there is just no hope - this potential relationship for example lol). It frustrates me though that announcing my veganism means that, so often, I am the one under the microscope so that meat-eaters can find something to say 'Ah Ha!' about (if finding out that an old pair of hiking shoes are leather for example).

Have any of you found that you are having to defend your choices a little too regularly? How do you deal with it?
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Christina3 Christina3 NSW Posts: 128
2 24 Nov 2011
If you're constantly having to defend yourself against them, then maybe they're not the right person for you?

I find that all the time. I have a friend who is always telling me how "stupid" vegetarians and vegans are. It angers me heaps but most of the time I end with telling her that I have my reasons on why I want to become a vegetarian and it's my choice, and that's what I have chosen. And I ask her kindly to respect my right to a different choice of lifestyle, as I respect hers.

Meat-eaters are lucky and are never having to be in that hard situation of defending themselves, because they are in the majority group and we are in the minority. The price we have to pay for sticking up for what's right.
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Shahna Lammajamma Shahna Lammajamma QLD Posts: 56
3 24 Nov 2011
Yer i find it exhausting to, sometimes it drives me crazy but theres not much we can do just know that ur doing the right thing even if others dnt support it.
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Michelle 2.0 Michelle 2.0 QLD Posts: 42
4 24 Nov 2011
If potential partner can't respect something so intrinsic to you and your belief systems this early in the relationship, and is hounding you about it in particular, what does that say about them as a person, and what does that say about their respect for not only you as a person, but for other people with beliefs divergent from theirs? Intolerance, and just an all-round inability to accept that you guys don't share an opinion on something, is not a good basis to begin a relationship on. It really just causes trouble later on. Keep in mind too, if this person will never change their meat-eating stance, you have to ask yourself if you're okay with the possibility of having kids that might have to eat meat? It's a scenario that's ridiculously future-oriented, but you have to think about these things before you dive in too deep.
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ckimana ckimana NSW Posts: 2545
6 24 Nov 2011
Everyone deserves a chance, but don't compromise your beliefs. Remember, not many (only the lucky ones!) were brought up veg*n.

I dated an omni for 5 years (I was vegetarian for 2 years (then vegan) so that's probably why I was tolerant). I got the usual "stupid" comments, and basically had an unsupportive & uncaring partner, but when I became vegan those last few years took it's toll and finally I'd had enough.

I'm now dating another omni but he respects me, realises how important animal cruelty is to me and understands how animals are tortured/ killed for food. He eats 80% vegan. I'm happy with that, as otherwise he'd be eating meat with every meal.
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Cow Hugger Cow Hugger SA Posts: 346
7 24 Nov 2011
in defending my choice to be vegan, i often get called a preacher.. i bet you all get that too
for stating simple facts, like someone will ask you about your veganism and then when you do answer them, you're "preaching"
it is the most frustrating thing, especially the amount of "friends" i have lost simply because they cannot accept the fact i am a vegan and CAN NOT condone eating meat.
i will not tell them "i respect your choice"
because no, i do not.
what they are doing is going against everything that i stand for, i find myself in debates over facebook DAILY. and this is me being attacked by meat eaters, now i am courteous and only state facts, i never personally insult anyone
but i am constantly called names, and they love that word "preaching"
yes because apparently animals don't actually get abused and tortured and killed, we just make it up to recruit people into our cult..

it's so hard to keep your cool when they say such IGNORANT things.
things i've heard a thousand times
"but plants feel pain" "if i didn't eat them some other animal would"
"what so are you going to go tell a lion it can't eat meat anymore"
"it's my choice, stop being so pushy"

the reason we are all vegan, is because we love animals
because what is happening to them isn't right
if you sit by and say nothing, and "respect their choices"
what is the point of you even being vegan?
we are the voices for the animals.

who cares if people call you things?
at the end of the day, i know my motives are right
they have no reason to be against animal rights except for greed.
and the reason they get so defensive is because they don't like feeling guilty so they try and make us the bad guys..

keep fighting for the animals, they need us!
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xAshlee xAshlee TAS Posts: 722
8 24 Nov 2011
i actually realised today speaking to someone that some people will never change...so i dont bother with them. I just ask them to make good choices but still we are just different people . i adore animals and like to be healthy/natural but some just dont even have animals or like them.

i just move on and convert who i can hehehehehe. (2 so far and 1 pretty close)
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Cow Hugger Cow Hugger SA Posts: 346
9 24 Nov 2011
xAshlee said:
i actually realised today speaking to someone that some people will never change...so i dont bother with them. I just ask them to make good choices but still we are just different people . i adore animals and like to be healthy/natural but some just dont even have animals or like them.

i just move on and convert who i can hehehehehe. (2 so far and 1 pretty close)
haha when people say they convert people  ashamed2 it makes me feel like i AM in a cult :p
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Christina3 Christina3 NSW Posts: 128
10 24 Nov 2011
Wolf said:
in defending my choice to be vegan, i often get called a preacher.. i bet you all get that too
for stating simple facts, like someone will ask you about your veganism and then when you do answer them, you're "preaching"
it is the most frustrating thing, especially the amount of "friends" i have lost simply because they cannot accept the fact i am a vegan and CAN NOT condone eating meat.
i will not tell them "i respect your choice"
because no, i do not.
what they are doing is going against everything that i stand for, i find myself in debates over facebook DAILY. and this is me being attacked by meat eaters, now i am courteous and only state facts, i never personally insult anyone
but i am constantly called names, and they love that word "preaching"
yes because apparently animals don't actually get abused and tortured and killed, we just make it up to recruit people into our cult..

it's so hard to keep your cool when they say such IGNORANT things.
things i've heard a thousand times
"but plants feel pain" "if i didn't eat them some other animal would"
"what so are you going to go tell a lion it can't eat meat anymore"
"it's my choice, stop being so pushy"

the reason we are all vegan, is because we love animals
because what is happening to them isn't right
if you sit by and say nothing, and "respect their choices"
what is the point of you even being vegan?
we are the voices for the animals.

who cares if people call you things?
at the end of the day, i know my motives are right
they have no reason to be against animal rights except for greed.
and the reason they get so defensive is because they don't like feeling guilty so they try and make us the bad guys..

keep fighting for the animals, they need us!
I don't really respect their choice to be ignorant (by eating meat) but really I'm respecting their right to have a CHOICE about what they eat.

I once went to a friend's house who knows that I don't eat lamb or pig amoung other animals. I was sleeping over and we were having dinner. They served lamb and pig as the meat, plus a variety of vegetables. They said "here, have some meat" and I told them "I don't eat lamb or pork" "No! You have to eat meat so you can grow up big and strong" and they shovelled it onto my plate. So THAT'S what I mean when I say that everyone has a right to choose what they do and don't eat.

Another time some people near me in class overheard me telling my friend about the cruelty of the dairy industry (after she'd asked why I hated dairy so much, I said "because of the way the mother cows and their babies are treated" and she asked "how are they treated?"). One thing lead to another, and eventually I had the whole class coming against me. Next thing I knew everyone was "defending themselves" because I had been "preaching" to them and forcing them to not eat dairy. "Spoiling their apetite."

I'm never going to stop fighting for the animals, but nevertheless, some days it's hard and you just can't take it anymore. And coming on here to talk about it with people who have experienced the same thing really helps happy
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