Sounds like eating dairy is causing you a lot of depression though too... it's a no win for you but could be a win for the animals. If that's what you want then you should go for it. If it's really not an option then feel calm in the knowledge that as soon as you can, you will.
Sounds like you did try really hard to help those pigs and if no one else is willing to back you then it's not your fault. Don't feel guilty, feel free that you're mind is one out of so many that is able to rise above the brain washing that happens in the culture since birth. Be proud.
Most importantly try and de-stress and take yourself away (whether internally or physically) from the revolting relationship the other students and teachers have with those pigs.
Because you care so much you will make a difference, you can't know exactly what other people think and I'm betting that at least one of those carnivores laughing will feel guilt either now or later. I think we all have to remember what it felt like to be a carnivore, believing that we loved animals and not realising that just because eating animals is mainstream doesn't make it right.
I remember quite vividly what is was like still being omni, but I can say for certain I never joked about how keen I am to eat dead flesh from animals bred simply for the purpose of my meal. I just ate meat, without ever connecting, if something like that happened when I was omni, it would of added to the triggers of my research into animal rights then conversion to vegetarianism.
It's absolutely cement no option for me to go vegan whilst I'm at home, I have to use mum's groceries and cook all my own meals, she won't buy vegan friendly stuff for me other than the vegan friendly meals I already make whenever possible. Things like milk and butter can't be substituted at home because there is no other option, especially seeing as I earn absolutley no money, and trust me, I've been looking for work.
IT's most likely only a few months away from my being able to move out and do the transition thing, but I'm just so burnt out and fustrated at everyone around me and how ignorant they truly are.
Like when I got permission to stick up live export flyers around the school, they were all ripped down within a day or so. That was the equivalent of spitting me in the face for me.
I just can't believe how deliberatley ignoprant people are at this school. There's a difference between being naive and just being ignorant, determined to have a closed mind about anything that doesn't agree with your opinion.
I just get so down because I'M always the one expected to adjust to respecting their opinions beliefs and jokes, and yet they can't be mutual with the same respect.
I hate this town I hate being at home and I'm just feeling so burnt out.
