I seriously can't understand how eating animal products, simply because you don't want to cause a scene is "better for the animals"
I think because one of the major problems people have with veganism is the availability of food and the extremist things that come with the lifestyle. I would therefore contend that it may (I emphasise the word 'may') be in fact better for animals to eat the dinner roll for others to see just how easy veganism can be. Because for animals to be liberated, one thing is clear; veganism must become mainstream. The question is, how is this to be achieved? As we know, being vegan - whether you like it or not - automatically makes you an ambassador of sorts for veganism itself. For this reason, whatever we do, must be in the best interests for animals. So, in being an ambassador, do we kick-up a fuss, becoming nazis over the chance an animal-derived emulsifier may be present in a dinner roll in front of others, or conversely; show others just how easy it is being vegan? I'm a firm believer in the fact that not everything is black and white, and therefore, it's not WHAT we do, but rather HOW we do it.
While I can see it being a problem muddying the waters of what is vegan and what isn't, I think in many ways we take a backward step if we in herit the "anal-about-ingredients" tag - which can't be good for the animals.
Again let me reinstate I'm not convinced either way on what's best for the animals - It's why I started this thread to get some opinion and discussion on the matter.
And for the record...
This is the 3rd during this response my laptop has unexpectedly shut down on me - without me being able to save the response, making me try my best to remember what the hell I was saying and retype it. I think i deserve some kind of medal

I think that by excepting (in this case) the dinner roll, and saying "what the hell" gives the COMPLETE wrong view on veganism to begin with. If they see you as a role model vegan who sometimes breaks the rules, what will their veganism ethics be based on? Being vegan (to me) is an all or nothing principle. If you aren't willing to say no to emulsifiers etc. which have contributed to animal suffering then you need to watch some more nasty documentaries before going vegan.
If they are considering becoming veg, you shouldn't mislead them into thinking they can make compromises and cut corners when it doesn't suit them, or let them think that being veg is easy - because sometimes its not. It's much better to prepare and support them for what its really like, because we all know its for a good cause and the animals don't need our excuses.
Sometimes I really struggle with this point - There is an awesome soy cheese which has casein (a milk product) in it. It is a minuscule amount, but I can't bring myself to make the compromise - not just for the animals, but because I'm scared that if I excuse myself once, I will slip up again. I also know I'd be hugely disappointed in myself, and everything I stand for would mean mud. Although the emulsifier itself is a tiny product, I try to think of it in terms of the people who make/supply it, and how much suffering that would cause as a whole. It may only be a little roll, but the big picture is very cruel.
You don't have to be a nazi about it, the simple fact is that all cruelty is wrong, regardless of the scale, and I think if you stand up for this principle the people more likely to be converted will only respect you all the more for it in the long run. The only reason why we are seen as radicals is because it's not mainstream. I don't think there is anything we can do about that at this stage, it is something I believe will change with time. In the meantime I'm happy to be named a radical because I know what I'm doing is right and should be mainstream, and that really its the majority that's sick.
BTW I have used the term 'you' for the sake of argument, so dont take it personally