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Conflicted

Wanting to become vegetarian/vegan

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Emma25 VIC • Posts: 24

1 29 Apr 2012

Hi everyone!

I am writing this as I feel very conflicted at the moment. I am seriously considering becoming vegetarian/vegan however there are many factors in my life that seem to make it difficult.

I consider myself an animal lover. I'm a Veterinary Nurse, have 2 gorgeous furbabies of my own (a rescue cat and a Miniature Dachshund), have tried to be as good a consumer as possible - my cleaning/beauty products on the most part are vegan, I have read about animal cruelty and watched documentaries on the subject and buy free range/organic animal products. But recently I feel this isn't enough and the decisions I've made (ie. organic/free range animal products) aren't that great afterall (for example I was shocked to learn the male chicks are killed in the egg industry - even the free range/organic industry).

I do want to become more educated on this issue of animal welfare and actually physically go to places with farm animals. I don't know if this sounds weird but I want to try and break down the barriers between the meat on my plate and where it comes from. There's a farm sanctuary about an hour away from me with rescued factory farmed animals I want to go. I feel like it well help cement my feelings and give me more physical evidence when talking to my partner, his family about my reasons why to become vegetarian. I want first hand experience. Would it be worthwhile contacting animal liberation in my state and enquiring about this?? I am in Melbourne if of any help.

I was a vegetarian when I was young - around 11 - 12 years old, however I became anaemic and my mum didn't want me to continue it anymore. Being so young I was easily persuaded!

There are a few aspects of my life which make this decision hard.

A small aspect is my job. As a Veterinary Nurse I sell meat and animal products, pre packaged pet foods, medications that would have been tested on animals. There's not really anyway to get around this.

Second is my wonderful partner of 7 years. He is a chef and cooking, in his words last night "is a massive part of our relationship" and he feels that by becoming vegetarian/vegan I would be taking this away. None of our friends or his family (we don't see mine) are vegetarian or vegan and he feels it will be difficult, isolating for me, etc. My partner doesn't believe people should be vegetarian/vegan although he considers himself a lover of animals and buys free range/organic animal products. He has suggested not to become vegetarian/vegan but instead go to farmers markets more often and buy animal products from small farmers, thereby cutting out all factory farming. While we wouldn't break up or anything drastic I have a feeling that by becoming a vegetarian/vegan it would be a massive issue for my partner and will not make him happy. He also has said he is not prepared to cook vegetarian meals instead and that I can do all my cooking. He is such a wonderful person I have actually been quite shocked from his reaction.

If I weren't with my partner I know I would be a vegetarian/vegan.

I am also worried about going out to restaurants, etc given my partners and I lives revolve around food and dining out so much. I have done some research and found many nice restaurants do vegan degustations, etc and the area we live in is very vegan friendly! What do I do at family functions and how do I broach that I have become a vegetarian if/when I make that decision with everyone??

I'm not so worried about the nutrition side as I've studied nutrition in the past. I'm a good cook (if I do say so myself!) and have lots of vegetarian cookbooks, etc. Our housemate is also vegan (the only vegan I know! Although I do have 2 vegetarian colleagues buts that all) so have had alot of helpful advice from her.

I am also trying to get my mind around - if/when I become a vegan/vegetarian I want to make a difference - but I'm only 1 person, how much of a difference can I make against animal cruelty?? It seems impossible when I think of all the factory farming, meat in shops and restaurants, etc, etc.

Sorry this is so long winded. Ultimately I have to make my own decisions but I wondered if anyone had any advice or faced such difficulties with their partners/living with omni's?

Thanks for reading

+ 1

Casper.s2 SA • Posts: 1640

2 29 Apr 2012

If that is what tyou want then the rest should work itself out ^^

it doesn't have to be a 'seriously serious' commitment,
you can go about it casually and in your own way as it is your choice to at all.

so something trivial like worrying in a restaurant,
if that was the experience for me.. noone could make me go tongue

if it isn't fun, why do it... going out to eat shouldn't be an imposition...

your reasons for doing what you do are your own,
people serving you food are there, willing and happy to accommodate

rare to find a place that won't happily charge you just as much for half the ingredients ^^

haha but nah, why not start by going out to lots of nice lil vegan places,
look on happycow, then when you get a feel for how the life style can work,
make the change then...

it is a life style change you're wanting to make, so don't let your life style changing be a concern... because that is the fun part ^.^

why not ease into things and look for alternatives to eat,
before making the mental discretion and decisions.

get a blood test to begin with if you do start,
so you know where you're at, then check again in 6months time...

from your experience you already know,
you will have to hunt out iron in leafy greens, like spinach...

or if you don't mind taking supplements...
simply take an iron supplement, they contain b12 and b6 as standard also.

you'l do fine.. ^__^

maybe doing it in secret haha ad making it a non issue is more for you..
but if you feel conflicted you really have to re-assess your true feelings on why you want to do it in the first place.. a cause for motive should over come other ideas, just by priority.

+ 2

4_da_animals1 SA • Posts: 3293

3 29 Apr 2012

^ adding onto casper's comment, it's all well and good to eat iron rich veggies and ope you are getting enough, but you need to remember iron in veggies is alot harder to absorb than iron in meat. You need to be high in vitamin c to absorb as much iron as possible from the veggies. Also note, an iron deficiency is nothing to be ashamed of. I had it, when I first went vego, and everyone blamed it on my vegetarian diet. And yet my best friend is one of the biggest carnivores you will ever meet... and she is also deficient.
Little things like this are good to keep in mind.
As for your conflicts.. like casper said, take it a little step at a time. You don't have to jump straight into being vegan/vegetarian, try little steps.. vegetarian mondays for instance. Cutting more and more animal products/meat products out of your diet. It should be a fun process, not stressful.
Unfortunatly things like family functions and partner's opinions are always going to be a difficulty when it comes to these kinds of decisions if you let it. Come christmas time I live off of my grandma's chinese cabbage salad because I'm the only vego there and that is the only salad that appeals to me! laugh

if you try not to be too fussy at these functions, it's normally quite easy.
As for your partner, i see no real issue with you cooking your own meals, you can cok everything you like! That, and I'm sure, later on you wouldn't be too keen on cooking seperate meaty meals for him if he were to want that?
Anyway.. Just take it one step at a time, and again, like wise casper said, let it be fun!
Goodluck beaverhug

+ 1

KirstyGirl TAS • Posts: 754

4 29 Apr 2012

Most people in the world are deficient in iron. It is not at all solely a veg thing. Take a supplement to prevent becoming anemic again.
You're clearly passionate about this and feel like it's the right thing to do. I don't believe that others in your life should stop you or make you feel ashamed of wanting a better world.
It's definitely worth checking out the facts and doing all you can to get first hand experience. Cooking is a big part of my relationship to, that is vegan cooking. It's really not at all boring or limiting, in fact considering your partner is a cook it may actually be something he could find interesting and something to experiment with. It's a lot of fun.
Here's to hoping that your family becoming more open minded to the idea and that you stick to your convictions and beliefs. Good luck and congratulations on even considering it and thinking of the animals. It takes a strong minded person to sift through brainwashing of the dairy/meat industries and see it for what it really is.

Jordanfun WA • Posts: 79

5 29 Apr 2012

I sort of had this dilemma for a while when i wanted to take a step further and become vegan. When people you love disagree with your beliefs and actions you begin to question yourself on another level. If I ever started to sway my thoughts the other way it was because i was forgetting the terrible things that happen to the animals.

I go to family dinners every Monday night and my Nan would complain about how hard it was to cook for me, and i felt a little guilty. But I would always tell myself that if anyone was being inconvenienced in the situation, it was definitely the animals.

The best advice I can give is to align your actions with your beliefs. If you see yourself in the future as a vegetarian or vegan, then what are you waiting for? Make the change, you will love yourself for it.

Good luck!!!

+ 1

vegiepete SA • Posts: 147

6 29 Apr 2012

i completely agree...i was a big meat eater until i was shown what goes on in getting that meat to the table..i have now been meat free for nearly five years and havent felt better in my mind or body and now cant help spread the word of the benifits to our bodys and the saving of innocent life of the animals in question..it has change my thinking for ever

+ 2

Miss Lady Vegan SA • Posts: 20

7 30 Apr 2012

Make the change! Veganism/vegetarianism isn't all just about animal rights. It's about health - if u haven't already watch the doco forks over knives, it makes sense. I think u should do whatever U want. No one else has ur body and/or decide what should go into it! I feel amazing being vegan - I was a vegetarian for years then switched to vegan & have more energy, a zest for cooking (cos let's face it uv gotta get more creative with lentils!) and wake up every morning with a warm heart knowing that I'm not contributing to a over-consuming industries that make people fat & sick.
And just another note, I'm sure u don't judge ur partner so he should respect UR choice to be vegan like u respect his choice to be a blood mouth!
Good luck! I hope u try being vegan even at least for a month - go to Petas website and pledge happy

JayT VIC • Posts: 525

8 30 Apr 2012

Is the farm sanctuary you are talking about Edgar's Mission?
That place is amazing, you must visit, or even better, you can volunteer during one of their volunteer days. happy

Some vego's work with animal products. It will be a little hard at first, but because you currently can't much about the situation, then you will just have to pull through. Maybe even try to get your place of employment to stock vegan pet food (we have a couple of Australian companies you can choose from).

I am sorry to hear about how your partner is being. I bet it is a shock he is like this, he should be nothing but supportive.
If you feel like being cheeky to him, you could say "Real chef's cook meals without any animal products". xD.
Buying from small products still results in animals being killed, while all those animals want is a normal and full life. It is not a solution, and never will be.

When people know you are a vego, if they are genuine people, they may even choose to have functions at vego-friendly places. You can always contact the location in advance, see what you can work out with them. Or as a last resort, eat before going, that way you won't have to order anything (other than maybe a drink or the only vego option on the menu) or even just eat when you get home.

I would have thought having a vegan housemate would make things much easier?

Lastly, one person can make a difference.
First you start with you speak with your money. By supporting veg companies and by boycotting companies that use animals, you are letting industries know where demand is.
You can also support companies that help animals.
Spreading the word about animal rights/welfare and vego topics, hopefully that influences people to make better choices about what they buy and how they treat animals, and maybe even change them so that they buy less animal products.
Attend protests, rallies, volunteer for companies, all these also make a difference.

xMISSMONSTERx WA • Posts: 2582

9 30 Apr 2012

Being vegan shouldn't be limiting at all to your dishes. If your partner was a good chef, he would be up to the challenge of creating tasty meals which are vegan friendly!
I would go for it, you only live life once so live it the way you want to. Your partner should be supportive, even slowly go to vegetarian, and then to vegan so you can work out things easier. I don't find my veganism in anyway isolating, I'm still at every social event with my friends having a good time happy

Good luck

Casper.s2 SA • Posts: 1640

10 30 Apr 2012

My Dad is in his 80's and started serving me up my own meals not only on my own plate (though I did buy it for myself), but without me asking started serving mine up with a different spoon, or using different pans and or cooking it first. Although the cook ware isn't designated Vegan and is a momentary gesture... I didn't have to ask..

though maybe he noticed me starting to label my own spoons with a striped tape hahaha.

I realize they are washed up together.. but i'm just not the sort of person to share a toothbrush with anyone, so I like my own spoon. I need to really make the effort to buy a set and properly label it though. Or stash it away sigh.

It works out when you make it work ^^

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