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Family not respecting your eating choices

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Madixoxoxo Madixoxoxo QLD Posts: 31
1 5 Dec 2012
So, someone close to me has been making me dinners for a while now. Last night I found out that ... when making roasts/roast veggies, they were using the drippings left in the pan to cook the veggies/gravy after. I had no idea about this. As I'd get home and it was already there to eat, and I assumed because they knew I was vegetarian to make separate gravy/veggies for me. I'd seen them make it for me in the past and they'd kept it all separate... so i don't know what changed. Perhaps it just got annoying to make something differently each time. I just felt so bad, and guilty because I'd been eating things with animal fat etc in them now for a few months without knowing it. I just assumed it was the flavour of the gravy which I know for a fact has no animal products in it at all. I also felt that they had disrespected my morals and beliefs by making it. They simply said "it hasn't killed you yet". I stated, it's not that I can't eat it. It's that I don't believe in killing an innocent animal for consumption. To me it's wrong. I didn't say anything else and took the food over to my partner's side of the house. Should I bring up the subject again just to make sure they get the point? Or, should I leave it. It's only with a roast that apparently they do this. No other food they make for me has animal drippings/pieces of meat in it. Just at a bit of a crossroads. This person is close to me and I don't want to offend them by seeming like I'm lecturing them or coming across ungrateful for the food they provide me when I'm too tired to cook for myself. Thoughts?

Deborah3 Deborah3 QLD Posts: 73
2 5 Dec 2012
it does get annoying cooking separate meals  i have to do it  as i look after my 83 y/o mother who can do nothing for herself so i have to cook her meat and veggies then wash the pan out and do mine it becomes very tiresome how ever if she was capable of making her own and wanted to eat different from me especially if it was my home i would expect her to buy and cook her own its her right to choose what she eats and  equally mine also to chose mine

OinkMoo OinkMoo NSW Posts: 1340
3 5 Dec 2012
You could just make your own meals happy This way you know that it is 100% veg.

cassie2 cassie2 VIC Posts: 212
4 5 Dec 2012
that'd be hard. I have to make two meals one for  me and one for my daughter.

Jasmint1976 Jasmint1976 WA Posts: 28
5 6 Dec 2012
Its a tough situation, but I am a big believer of being up front and honest and speaking your truth...I am sure if they are a good friend they will respect your wishes.

JessBrazil JessBrazil VIC Posts: 97
6 6 Dec 2012
It's horrible that someone would violate your choices and beliefs like that.
I defiantly wouldn't be trusting them with anything I find important in the future.

Velouria Velouria VIC Posts: 107
7 6 Dec 2012
I personally think it's awful what your friend has been doing, yes, it's very nice of her to cook for you but nevertheless the statement she made was very inconsiderate and she clearly does not understand or care how important this would be for you.  I would personally talk to her again, it doesn't have to be an angry conversation of course, if she's a true friend she'll understand and would make that allowance for you as a friendship goes both ways, give and take.  Otherwise arrange something else for that night, take-out if you're tired or just something really simple and quick, sometimes when I'm tired after work I'll just whip open a can of mixed beans with lots of vegies and rice can be quick and filling as well.

I would lose a lot of respect if a friend of mine ever did that knowing full well I was a vegetarian and not even having the consideration to tell me so I could have a choice, good luck with it.

AbigailandBrodie AbigailandBrodie NSW Posts: 114
8 6 Dec 2012
First of all, try not to feel guilty for what you have been eating... if it was up to you, you wouldn't have eaten it. Can't stress about what's been done and is out of your control. It is really frustrating, the ignorant comments people make about not eating meat. I think you should try once again to calmly explain why this has upset you and make known your appreciation for their making your meals. It is likely that they just won't understand, but in the end you know you have done your best to explain and communicate nicely, and that's all you can do. Make your own meals if you do have the time, if not... i'm not sure! But do try to communicate with them first off if they are important to you. Also, good on you for speaking up because when it comes to the people close to you, it can be very hard. It is sad that the subject of food has to be tip toed around...

Mary6 Mary6 NSW Posts: 152
9 7 Dec 2012
My friend had the same problem her parents would cook her stuff with meat and fish in it!

Kelsey1 MsDrago Kelsey1 MsDrago United States Posts: 818
10 7 Dec 2012
MadiLovesMerDer said:
They simply said "it hasn't killed you yet".
I think thats a pretty disrespectful thing to say. I would politely explain to them about the predicament.

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