Vegans with Meat Eating Partners

My boyfriend (of seven years a few weeks ago, so long term!) is a meat eater, milk drinker and cheese addict and I'm newly vegan (was vegetarian and dairy-free for several years before that) and I have only found a slight judgement from others, but it's still there.

While I find it hard to deal with his choices (he's such a wonderful and compassionate person who cares for animals and animal rights so greatly and yet can't seem to bring those ideals together and change in his lifestyle) I know that at the end of the day, I'm not responsible for his actions and all I can do is try to educate him and open his eyes to the realities of the industries he supports. Thus far, I've got him to swap to solely consuming genuine free range meats and eggs and taking a much bigger interest in the ethics behind the foods he consumes but he still buys leather and processed shit with animal derived ingredients without a second thought ... I figure, some change is better than none and all I can do is keep trying!

It sucks and it is a big strain but as with your boyfriend, he'll eat vegetarian or vegan when we are together (which is 3-4 nights a week if not more) and goes out of his way to ask me questions and engage with the topics I'm very passionate about so to me, that's half the battle.

I think people need to realise that you can't always help who you love and if you are truly 'in love' with someone, you make compromises to stay with them, even if they are big compromises. So long as my boyfriend is happy for me to disagree with him and to lecture him about things I don't think he should be doing, I don't know what else I can really expect. Though it is such a huge part of my life and I think, such an important issue considering the way society views farming and animal rights, I don't think you can define someone's entire being or worth simply by their take on the subject. People can be good without necessarily making the correct moral choices but that's what it is to be human! Of course, I judge people who eat meat and blindly consume animal derivatives BUT it isn't my place to turn that judgment into negativity and spite, it's my job to turn it into positive information; a way to make them see WHY I disagree with them and HOW they can change it.

You should tell anyone that give's you a hard time that there are far more important things to focus on besides vegans loving non-vegans. The way you conduct yourself, the activism you take part in and the ways you inform others are what matters! Besides, who knows, maybe one day you'll be able to convince him that eating meat isn't the right thing to do. I still hold out hope for that with my boyfriend I don't think it detracts from the legitimacy of your beliefs!

My partner of 2 years is not vegan. She eats veg food whenever she is with me though so I often forget. I've never really felt any hostility from anyone about it.

everyone is dating someone, this post is sad    :   < think about all the non-couples jeeze

I'm glad that people are talking about this. I remained friends with a wonderful man for over two years chiefly because he was a meat eater. I was really struggling with this. He's a human rights advocate, a wonderful person, and yet he does eat meat.

However, right from the onset he respected my view and even applauded them. After a couple of years I became involved further... he's my best friend, a genuinely great human being and the fact that he hasn't joined the dots is something that I'm going to work with and I believe it's worth it.

I used to eat meat and although I never felt it was right, (unlike his very large, very Italian family who love their traditional foods,) and it was really easy to become vegetarian and then vegan when I really understood the consequences.

I think some partners may never quite come to a changing point, but my partner does understand that we will never own leather lounges, never use animal tested products, never have any form of meat anywhere near the house, that I'm pro active, an activist and I will always have my very wordy say.

Due to health reasons, he is beginning to understand about food choices and of course when in the home I cook amazing vegan dishes and he doesn't miss 'the meat on the plate.'
When we eat out he might eat fish but usually eats whatever I'm having. In having done that over time he's realised how well people can eat and how delicious and nutritious it is without a dead animal.

He's intelligent, so I can only lead by example. I've not met either a vegetarian, vegan or meat eating man that I can be entirely myself with, have the type of amazing indepth and connected conversations with before him. In this, it's made me a little more humble about people and their choices. I was becoming a somewhat judgemental vegan and then I looked around and realised that some of the greatest, most proactive human beings on Earth still haven't made the change to non animal products. Most of my dearest friends eat meat and some are phenomenal people.

I believe this is a (although we don't want to hear it and we ultimately all feel quite militant about it much of the time,) gradual awakening for humanity. I hate to say it, but most vegan I know admit to having been meat eaters.

I won't discard people from my life, or be made to feel as if I have 'bad' partner - who is a deeply warm and genuine man - because he's still travelling a path of learning more.

It's a fact of life. When we love people, to some degree we must accept their choices. This is a tough one but to be honest, I've met some truly weird and fairly unappealing vegans/vegetarians and so on... and some great ones and the same with meat eaters.

In reality, many vegan I've met have no real idea how much harm they're doing in either food choices or the products they use. On belonging to quite a few vegan FB pages and forums I sadly discovered and had some 'lengthy' discussions with, vegans who think processed foods without meat in them is being vegan. When I went on to inform many of them of how so much food that they were buying and eating was either directly or indirectly animal tested, that much of it contained chemicals that were animal tested, that many of their household choices were tested on or had imposed on animals, I was asked to keep my 'opinions' to myself as, I quote: 'being vegan is not all about healthy choices, just the animals.'

Ignorance and stupidity reigns in all forms but I was incredibly disappointed in vegan mum's who fed their kids shit whilst parading around being self righteous. I left all those sites, forums and FB pages. I was having more intelligent and informed conversations with meat eaters... that taught me a lot about people and about life.

This seems to me like one of those "lets make this small club even smaller" ideas! Yeah, how's lets we suggest that vegans and vegetarians should only date vegans and vegetarians??

Yeah, that's not something I wanna be any part of neither.

Great words! My boyfriend started eating meat again because a naturopath told him he needs it (every single day, meat, chicken, fish, eggs and dairy to heal his gut?!?  it's making me so sad. I can cope with people that don't know any better but I'm having a very hard time because he's seen the videos and knows how important it is to me to live a cruelty free life.
He says he just want to get healthy and will reconsider after that happens but I don't think he will get healthh on this insane diet. Feeling very alone in this because I also just moved here and away from my loving (vegan) family and friends in Amsterdam. Anyone with similar situations? Tips?

I would ask him to get a second opinion. Go to a proper GP or dietician - Amsterdam to Oz? Culture shock! (not to mention weather shock!). Good luck with the man in your life.