I appreciate that many passionate animal lovers will only settle for nothing short of veganism, but in reality this is not possible. Many people simply will not give up their dairy diet (I'm a lacto vegetarian), and taking extreme stances and enforcing an opinion can sometimes alienate people. Coercion through education is what is required. Sometimes it takes steps for awareness to take hold until someone is ready to make an extreme decision. Even then, many good people will make ethical choices but perhaps not extreme ones. This is still preferred and should be encouraged.
Dairies that support the best humane practices should be encouraged. If they do well then it is possible for them to increasingly adopt more humane practices. Let’s face it, such transitions are expensive and I would rather not lose these types of farmers to an economic failing. These farmers need to be supported so that they can build their farms and increasingly put their ethical philosophies into practice so as to replace the current inhumane industry and so become the benchmark.
Ok, so…some dairy farmers have ethical and humane practices, some more than others. Some uphold good bobby calf practices and some are even slaughter-free. The Hare Krishna farm and Barambah dairy, both near the NSW/WQLD border are slaughter-free dairies. See this link for info on Barambah:
http://www.barambahorganics.com.au/barambah-difference/the-farm.aspx
While it is not possible for some dairies to adopt a slaughter-free philosophy, they should be applauded and supported for providing humane practices. Elgar is one such dairy. See this link for info on them:
http://www.ethical.org.au/blog/elgaar-farms-responds-on-bobby-calves/
K

I don't think 'extreme' is a fair term to use when describing veganism.
The terms 'extremists' and even 'terrorists' are often used to describe animal activists by animal industries and governments as a fear-mongering tactic, in an attempt to stigmatise the movement and discourage people from opening their eyes to the violence and injustices that keeps these industries alive.
I would say enslavement, confinement, body mutilation, rape, and murder are much more 'extreme' than choosing to eat a healthy, plant-based diet.
Luckily for the industries, those terms seem to be used exclusively when humans are on the receiving end - we use different words to describe the same acts when it is being done to an animal, so it is easy to disconnect the two.
The definition of 'humane' will differ depending on who you're talking to.
Most farms will have a different idea about what constitutes humane treatment of animals than the consumers trying to do the right thing by buying their products. Have you seen the recent exposé of an RSPCA approved pig farm?
http://freerangefraud.com/
In your opinion, would the 'humane' treatment of cows still be considered humane if it were humans being treated in the exact same way? How about if it were our pet dogs or cats? Why do cows not get the same consideration when they are equally sentient, and value their comfort, freedom, socialisation and family bonds as much as the animals we love?
I am not having a go at milk drinkers, but I hate the term 'extreme' being thrown around when describing any choice that sits outside of what is 'normal' for the majority. I'd like to know exactly what is extreme about removing milk from one's diet?
As others have said, there is nothing normal about a mammal drinking milk past infancy, let alone the milk of another species, so drinking milk could be considered 'extreme' on those grounds alone.
Edit: I just saw lucidity posted pretty much the same point while I was writing that... Sorry for repeating!